Grief affects everyone differently. For some, it manifests as physical torment such as a deformity or injury; for others, it can be an emotional and spiritual setback such as the loss of a loved one. Irrespective of its form, the pain and sadness can become overwhelming and unbearable.
Grieving is the time during which we actively experience these emotions. The extent of this period is indefinite; it depends on how long we take to accept the situation and make peace with ourselves and with reality. However, one thing is certain: grief does not go away completely, but the pain and sorrow do ease with time.
Dealing with grief isn’t easy, and most people try to deny their true feelings in an attempt to ‘get over’ the grief quickly. However, studies demonstrate that not dealing with the stages of grief allows the pain to persist, usually manifesting in unforeseen and often self-destructive ways.
Accepting our true feelings and believing that there is light at the end of the tunnel is the only way to get through the stages of grief. Empowering ourselves with positive thoughts – though it may seem impossible at times – can help us find joy and hope during grief-stricken times.
The Stages of Grief
The most commonly described stages of grief are:
- Shock
- Denial
- Anger
- Guilt
- Depression
- Acceptance
- Growth
However, as we mentioned, not everyone experiences grief in the same degrees and stages, and it isn’t fair to categorize everyone in the same way. Most people go through more than one emotion simultaneously and may also revisit certain emotions during their healing process.
Finding Joy and Hope During Grief
Although it may seem impossible, there are ways of finding joy during times of grief. It is extremely important to treat yourself with kindness and patience during this time and to understand that there is no shame in indulging yourself to nurture healing and growth.
Share Your Thoughts
Secluding yourself during grief can lead to physical ailments, substance abuse, depression, aggression, and suicidal tendencies. Always be open in respect to what you are feeling and surround yourself with people who genuinely care and love you.
Forgive Yourself
Acknowledge all your feelings: guilt, anger, shame, repentance, and forgive yourself. This step is often very difficult and takes a lot of time, but it is crucial to making peace with yourself and others.
Practice Self-Care
Grief takes a toll on your physical and mental health, and it’s a must to maintain them to get through this difficult time. Here are some things you can do to uplift yourself and clear your mind:
- Eat a balanced diet. Avoid binging on junk food and keep your system healthy and well-nourished.
- Make an exercise schedule for yourself or with a group of loved ones. You can take walks, ride a bike, or go to the gym; whatever energizes and refreshes you.
- Try to maintain a regular sleep schedule. Sleep disturbances often lead to stress-eating, depression, and negative behavior.
- Indulge in your favorite activities. Read, listen to music, watch a movie, get a new haircut, or go to a restaurant with friends.
- Acknowledge special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays. This is a great way of keeping the memory of a lost loved one alive and recalling all the ways they brought joy to your life. Make arrangements to be with friends and family.
Join a Support Group
Research shows that support groups can provide a sense of hope and help you connect with others going through the same pain as you are feeling. Sharing your experiences with others can be uplifting and reassuring. You may also build an entirely new social network that is a blessing during such dark times.
Increase Spirituality
Prayer, meditation, scripture readings, etc. can help strengthen faith and provide hope that eventually everything will be okay. It can also help you achieve inner calm and peace amidst all the negative thoughts and emotions surrounding you.
Final Thoughts
The stages of grief can be very hard to process, but with the proper techniques and support, the journey towards joy and hope doesn’t always have to be gloomy and painful. Always remember that acknowledging your feelings is the first step towards recovery, and like every difficulty in your life, this too, shall pass.
As a pharmacist and mental health professional, I’ve navigated through the depths of depression, understanding its complexities firsthand. My journey as a chronic caregiver for my mother, who battled irreversible heart failure, has illuminated the profound realities of caregiving and loss. These experiences have deepened my empathy and underscored the crucial need for support in times of grief, caregiving, and profound loss.
