Life often unfolds in ways that defy our expectations. Young children starve, sickness runs rampant, and parents face the unimaginable grief of burying their children. My darkest day arrived on September 8th when my oldest son, my firstborn, the boy who made me mama, was murdered. This day forever changed me, plunging me into a sorrow I had never known.
That morning, an uneasy feeling lingered from the night before. I was called into the office at work, where police officers awaited me. I feared my son had gotten into trouble again, but the news was far worse—he had been killed by someone he considered a friend. As time stood still I struggled to comprehend the horror of losing my child.
The days that followed were a blur. Planning a funeral for your child is an experience no parent should endure. We made decisions about burial or cremation, the type of service, and the casket – all things I had never discussed with my son—all while grappling with unbearable grief. Friends and family gathered, sharing memories and offering condolences, but I felt numb, functioning but not.
In my grief, I turned to Psalms 23:4: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” This verse became a lifeline. It reminded me that God was with me even in my deepest sorrow. Despite feeling alone, I found solace in this promise.
The pain of losing a child is indescribable. My nights were filled with tears, and my days were a struggle to carry on. I felt like I was drowning in sadness, my body reacting to the emotional turmoil. Yet, amidst this darkness, there were moments of light. A Bible app I found on Facebook allowed me to listen to God’s Word when reading was too difficult. Slowly, I felt His presence, guiding me through my grief.
The journey through grief is ongoing. It has been almost five years since that dreadful day. With God’s help, I have listened to the entire Bible multiple times, finding strength and understanding in His words.
I advise others facing adversity to pray without ceasing, trust in the Lord, and cherish their loved ones. We cannot predict what tomorrow holds, but the faith we have today will sustain us through our darkest times. As Psalms 23:4 reassures us, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” With God by our side, we can endure life’s trials and emerge stronger.
Through my pain, I have discovered that God walks with us through every valley. My son’s memory lives on, and while the hole in my heart remains, I find strength in knowing that God is always with me.
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